Why are you late to my class?

One of my favorite parts about my job (and by favorite I mean ridiculous) is when students look at me and tell me things that are out-right lies. And they know that I know that they're lying, but they continue to do it even after I call them on it. Sometimes they're just trying to be humorous but mostly, they're just being plain stupid because they forget that I went to this school for nearly a decade and on top of that, I wasn't born yesterday. This sort of thing usually happens when someone is late to my class and they have no real reason for being late. So, to avoid being written up, they lie to me in hopes that I won't call them on their shenanigans and hand them a detention form with their name on it.

Having said that, one day Rachel Stafford and Gabrielle Gardner walked into my classroom about a minute late. I looked at Stafford and said, "Why are you late to my class?"

"I was filling up my water bottle." This statement was absolutely true, but it wasn't a valid excuse and she knew it. But at least she didn't lie to me.

Gardner, however, decided she would lie to me about her tardiness before I had the chance to ask her the same question. Before I could even ask why she was late to class she turned toward me and declared, "I was helping her."

This was both humorous and absoultely ridiculous because no one over the age of 5 needs help filling up a water bottle. And yet, Gardner, who was probably late because she was day-dreaming in the hall-way about cats and her lack of gangster-ness (that story will come later), still thought this would be an acceptable answer. The worst part was that Stafford nodded in approval of Gardner's words as if to say, "Yes, she was helping me fill up my water bottle because I have the motor-skills of a toddler."

These events led me to say: "Oh really? You were helping her? No, you weren't. What's she need your help for? Did you press the button for her while she held the bottle? Or were you just there for moral support when Stafford got overwhelmed? 'Help! I can't fill up this water bottle on my own! Please encourage me on this endeavor!' Gardner, shut up and quit being to late my class."