Gabrielle's Greatest Hits

Gabrielle Marie Gardner. She is quite a character. While she has already been established as something less than "gangsta", it is only fitting that one be exposed to a good sampling of all she has to offer before assessing exactly who she is as a person. With that, I would like to introduce three of Gabrielle's "greatest hits":

1. The day after the "not a gangsta" moment, we were all sitting in 7th period (once again) talking about something that I'm sure was trivial and unimportant. As we were talking, Gabrielle turned from her corner (she sits away from the group...it's strange and makes people think that she is being shunned) to face us and said:

"There's this guy. His name is Stevie B. He's the fly-est kid ever."

Now, like I said, we all know that she is not a gangsta; so hearing her say this was particularly epic. She then proceeded to NOT tell us about Stevie B. and returned to her schoolwork (which she is constantly doing/freaking out about).


2. I believe that I have said that Gabrielle is often stressed, but if I haven't, let me say it now. GABRIELLE IS OFTEN STRESSED. There. Now that that has been established, one day, in AP Calculus, Gabrielle was having some problems with her eyes. Evidently, they were very dry and were causing her pain or irritation of some sort. Gabrielle began talking about her eyes, but soon switched to talking from the perspective OF her eyes. She started saying something that she imagined her eyes would be saying in a strange voice. This voice, however, is often used to imitate her cats (OFTEN). So I said:

Me: "Gabrielle, why do your eyes make cat sounds?!"

Gabrielle: "Every cell in my body makes a cat sound."

While she says things about her cats all the time, I and the entire class found this one particularly distrubing and unbelievably wall worthy.

3. Just this week, our usual group went out to lunch at Atlanta Bread. During this lunch, Natalie was eating a piece of bread. She was very hungry and devoured the bread relatively quickly. Upon viewing the consumption, Gabrielle bursts out with:

"If I was a piece of food, I'd rather decompose into the earth than be eaten by you."

This wasn't very nice, but it was hilarious, and thus, it is counted as one of Gabrielle's greatest hits.