Josh.0

One of my students is named Josh. Josh is a mess. He says things that are pretty Wall Worthy. But the reason his Wall Worthy Contribution Value (WWCV) is so high is because of the conversations, rebukes, and rebuttles that result from his antics, anecdotes, and asinine philosophical musings.

Exhibit A: Martin is one of the classiest students in school. He comes from a great family. He's smart. He's got a solid relationship with Christ. His priorities are right. He's pretty mature for his age. He's athletic, etcetera, etcetera...and according to the ladies, he's good-looking. Add all of those together and it would appear that this guy is as they say, "A pretty good catch."

And apparently, Josh thinks that Martin is...well, to put in Josh's own words. "That kid (Martin) is gorgeous."

Sidenote: If I ever refer to another man as "gorgeous," I give you permission to physically harm me.

However, Josh thinks that Martin is an unbelievable waste of incredible good looks. He even went as far as to say that Martin lacks swagger. And yet, Josh believes that Martin's Lady Killing Good Looks should not go to waste, therefore he devised a plot to redeem Martin's "unused" qualities and talents.

This is what Josh said, "Dude, Martin's so cute, it's like...I wanna take him, and walk around the mall with him."

Martin's sister was in the room at the time. All she could do was laugh along with the rest of us. The girls in the room asked him why in the world he would take a better looking guy with him to the mall and proceed to walk around with him.

His answer was this: "Because all the girls are going to be looking at him and eventually, they're going to have to notice me because I'm standing right to next to him. And when they come up to him and start talking to him, there I am...Martin doesn't know how to talk to girls."

Just for the record, I believe Josh's last sentence to be both completely erroneous and ridiculously outlandish, because according to Martin's sister, he's got tons of swag. I believe her. In fact, our recommendation would be this: Don't walk around the mall with Martin to pick up girls. To be honest, you should probably try your best to convince him to stay at home or, at the very least, to walk around the Tallahassee Mall by himself. Then, you should get yourself over to Governor's Square ASAP, because that's really you're only hope of "running your game" in a mall. If Martin's anywhere in the same building, the ladies will find him, and then you're done for.